No one grows up dreaming of being a car salesman. You just wake up one day and you're explaining APR to the 3 methsketeers. Run a soft credit check and get a face tattoo count. Go fuck yourself, Equifax.

The job isn’t selling — it’s surviving. Smile through insults, justify garbage warranty plans, and pretend to care about Bubba’s third knee surgery.

Every day I get a speech about "urgency" from a guy who drives a base model Sentra and thinks he's Gordon Gekko. My last manager wore fake Rolexes and called himself "The Closer."

If you're not moving units, you’re dead weight. Doesn’t matter how many customers you helped or if you stayed late. Only the board matters.

Customers will roll in, credit score of 430, trying to trade a Buick with tree sap on the seatbelt. One lady asked if she could return the car after two weeks "if she didn’t vibe with it."

This job ages you in dog years. Your diet becomes Red Bull, zyn and despair. You cry in your car on lunch break and come back to pitch undercoating like it’s a moral cause.

Don’t do it. Learn a trade. Join the Coast Guard. Hell, flip burgers. Anything but this.

>>12345680
>Buick with tree sap
Bro that’s not sap. That’s customer service residue.

>wageslaving
hard pass. imma NEETmax til my old folks are gone. plan to suckstart a jewberg 88 after that. 000 magnum buck. JANNY CLEAN IT UP!

>>12345678
I dipped out of sales and became a welder. Burn stuff, lift stuff, no one asks why their APR is 28%. Best decision I ever made.

>>12345679
>"The Closer"
KEK
Our guy calls the break room "the war room" and unironically wears Bluetooth in both ears. I can't bro.

>>12345685
also real story: Sales manager played a YouTube video of wolves hunting elk, then said "that’s us, and the customers are the herd." This comes from the guy who pissed his pants when we found a blicky in a truck that came in for warranty. I work at a Hyundai dealership fwiw.

>explaining compound interest to Cleetus
Man, I just smile and nod while internally screaming. Last week some mexican dude asked if "APR" was a new possee, then tried to peddle me his mixtape. Just wanna quit and join the circus instead.

This is a carnie thread now. Carfags BEGONE

>anon, I can't believe you quit your 6-figure job to travel with us. that's so brave...